The Beauty of the Difference

Why men and women are different and the same

‘A very nice and well-written book! Greatly readable, at the same time scientifically really up to the mark. A very rare combination.’
Prof. Dr. Dr. Willem Koops

‘A great book!’
Prof. Dr. Dr. Dick Swaab


In The Beauty of the Difference, Martine Delfos describes the differences and similarities between men and women. She shows how these differences and similarities intertwine like cogwheels. She does not limit herself to listing the differences and similarities, but she describes how male and female are interrelated, and how they have meaning with and for each other, from biological, evolutionary and social elements. From this viewpoint one can understand the meaning of these differences in contemporary society and Delfos shows how biological similarities  make emancipation of both men and women possible. Delfos thinks that both the differences and the similarities are necessary for the emancipation of men and women. She states that we must emancipate with the biological flow instead of against the biological current.

The book provides an in-depth insight into the way men and women function and its significance for entering into relationships, both heterosexual and homosexual. Why homosexual relationships in humans are actual relationships and not an expression of sexual behaviour.

This book can provide guidance in understanding all relationships between men and women and thereby creates a deep respect for the individuality of people and the beauty of the difference becomes clear.

The book is meant for men and women who want to develop a better understanding of each other in heterosexual and homosexual relationships. It can provide support to relationship therapists so that they can give room to both partners in the relationship giving opportunity for both partners to develop their own potential and be respected for their own value.

You can read here the artikel that was published in the NRC.

General information

Full table of contents can be downloaded here.


ISBN 9789088508554

E-ISBN 9789088508561

Author: Martine F. Delfos
Publisher: SWP, Amsterdam

1st edition 2018

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